Sunday, May 3, 2015

Part 2..Understanding Why??????????????


Last Thursday was four weeks since my heart attack and having a stent inserted into one of the arteries. This link gives an excellent explanation as to what is a stent.

Feeling stronger and able to sit at the computer for a few minutes, I have started my research as to what happened to me......the whys...

I have many questions and still need many answers. The American Heart Association and the Canadian Heart and Stroke Foundation have been a great source of information.

In Israel we have the Israel Heart Society. Both their webpage and Facebook page are full of information but because they are only in Hebrew, it takes a lot of time to translate.

Actually, I contacted them by e-mail this morning saying that we have many English speaking olim and since heart disease affects every age group, having an English site would be very useful. .

I'm experiencing many stages in my recovery. So far, each stage has been very important on the road to recovery.

Stage 1: from the day after the heart attack, I felt great and told my doctor that I was bored and wanted to go home. This euphoric feeling lasted five days.

My heart was in shock and didn't realize it was sick. By day six life was changing.

Stage 2: It was the last day of Pesach and I was home. I was exhausted and all I wanted was my bed. My bedroom was dark and when my husband wanted to open the trisim [blinds] to bring in some light, I told him I like the dark. When Avraham suggested that I come and sit in the living room I told him I didn't want to. I think my bedroom was a security blanket.

Stage 3:  the demons invaded my brain...I was so afraid that if I moved the wrong way or just did anything, I would have another heart attack. The dreams were terrifying. Panic and tears were my constant companion. 

I’m still a little afraid to stay alone… Hopefully this too will pass. I was told by a professional, that all I am feeling is very normal.

Our moetza Sdot Negev, installed an emergency panic button machine in our house that contacts a doctor immediately.

Stage 4: this is where I am now. I'm getting stronger and trying to function normally. I still get tired but I'm able to cope better. I have to learn how to pace myself. This is a very difficult skill for me.

My son goes with me for short walks and I try to go a little further each time. I can see my progress daily and have given myself a goal for complete recovery…

I’m sure there are many more stages for me to face before I am totally back to myself.

Next week I have my first post heart attack ultrasound at Soroka. I will then know how my heart is healing.

Writing about my experiences is very therapeutic. It helps me emotionally to deal day to day. Thank-you for reading my words. 

At the end of May, I am going to join a new online support chat group in English, for women in my age group who have heart disease. The moderator is a cardiologist.  From what I understand, the group is made up of 35 women from America and Israel. I’m looking forward to this.

That’s all for now. Please feel free to comment and share.



  1. you are the best!
    Love you

  2. Thanks for sharing and may you continue to have a refuah shelayma.
    Shavua Tov!

  3. Thanks for sharing your difficult journey with us, Miriam. Wishing you a complete and speedy recovery on all levels.

  4. Part 2? - Scary thoughts, of course and quite understandable. Could say you are not alone, your family an friends have you in their prayers and thoughts all the time. There are many (so many) things that a person goes through in life alone even though they are surrounded by caring people. They help, they give that push and extra something. But when it comes down to it you alone face the challenge and with the help of HK"BH you will find the strength. Be strong, pray hard get well.

  5. Miriam, I'm so glad that you are alive and feeling better.
    Refuah Shliemah

  6. Dearest Miriam,
    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. We are thinking of you and your wonderful supportive family. We are so relieved to know you are getting better.
    Rachel and David

  7. Miriam, thank you for sharing. wishing you a refuah shelema, may you continue to get stronger from day to day.

  8. When you write like this, you allow us to feel as if we are walking with you, able in this virtual way to "help." Thank you for feeling secure enough in yourself to share what you are going through.

    May Hashem bless you with a normal, healthy recovery, very, very soon.

  9. Glad to hear you're feeling better. I could really relate to your comment about the "demons". Exactly what I called it. After my hospitalization with pneumonia some 12 years ago and 5 years of mortars and missiles... I've been on an SSRI type medicine on and off ever since - it helps tremendously with the fears and panic attacks. Wishing you a refuah sheima.

  10. This post appears in the  The בהר "Behar," On The Mountain Havel Havelim edition. Havel Havelim is the long-running weekly international Jewish (and Israeli) blog carnival which floats from blog to blog. Please visit, comment and share the carnival and the other blog posts included. Join our community which is organized on our facebook page.

    Shavua Tov! 

    Have a wonderful week.


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