בס''ד
Because of the tragedy in Israel last week, and everyone feeling so down, I thought I would post something light to put a smile on our face, even for just a couple of seconds.
Ode to the English Language. Google describes the word ‘ode’ as a lyric poem in the form of an address to a particular subject, often elevated in style, manner and written in varied or irregular meter, or a historical a poem meant to be sung.
Many years ago I came across these wonderful pieces. I don’t know who authored them but he/she was certainly quick wit.
English is a strange and fun language.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
Let’s face it, English is a funny language.
There is no egg in eggplant, ham in hamburger, pine or apple in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeat are candies and sweetbreads which aren’t sweet, is meat.
We take English for granted, but if we really explore we will find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is not from Guinea or a pig.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese, so why not one moose two meese? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? Have a nose that runs and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposite.
And why does an alarm go off by going on?
English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects
the creativity of the human race.
That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And the last word, why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?
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And then we have the Tate Family? A very unusual family.
The father is Dictate, who wants to run everything and Uncle Rotate, who wants to change everything around.
There is sister Agitate, who stirs up everything and her brother Irritate who helps her.
Whenever something new is suggested, Hesitate and his sister Vegetate always pour cold water on the suggestions.
Then there is Imitate, who tries to have the organization the same as everywhere else he has been.
Everybody tends to quake if Devastate stands up to speak at a meeting.
And of course there is his brother Potentate, who wants to be a big shot in the organization.
The twins Cogitate and Meditate are always delightful.
Facilitate is very helpful and is often supported by Felicitate.
And there is Resuscitate who gives people all the help they need.
But one family should not run the organization, bring in those other members Activate and Participate.
Please pass along for others to enjoy!
Until next time
Miriam
