בס''ד

Being a Mother..................

Reminiscing is a wonderful past time. Looking at old pictures of when my daughters were babies and growing up. Today they are each mothers of six children. Yesterday, my son was a toddler looking for cookies. Today, he is all grown up with broad shoulders and who towers over me. Where has the time gone?

I don’t really know why, but the other day I was thinking back to the early days of our marriage. I remember how much I wanted to be pregnant and start a family. I would dream about the little girls and little boys we would have.

One day, I wasn’t feeling so well and I went to the doctor. After a couple of test, the doctor told me I wasn’t sick, I was pregnant and going to be a mother. I was so excited I couldn’t believe my news. I told my husband that I was going to have the best pregnancy. I read every piece of pregnancy information that I could fine. No internet then! I had to rely on books. Just thinking that there was a miracle inside of me, a new little person, growing and developing would bring a smile to my face.

I would sit and wonder is my little baby a son or a daughter. Now, I am going back 39 years, before the days of ultrasound, when the doctor’s guess was as good as anybody else. The old thought that if you carried high and pointy, you had a girl and if you had major back pains and carried low, that was a boy. I wonder how many times these old tales were correct?

What would our child be like? Who would our child look like? Would my child be laid back or a ball of fire? What kind of mother will I be? Will I be anxious or relaxed? So many unanswered questions. Nine months is a very long time. You never stop thinking. There is so much to do. Looking, but not buying anything until our baby was born, thinking on possible names, dreaming on how I would fix up a nursery. Time moved very slowly.

I’m getting bigger and bigger. When I sit, I rest my arms on my stomach, while talking and patting my baby. I know my child so well and my love is indescribable.

Oops, was that a contraction? Not sure. I think I will go and lie down. There! It happened again and again. Oh, oh my water broke. My bed is drenched. Time to go to the hospital. The anticipation that first part of the journey is almost over. My husband calls my parents to come right away. He tells them he is too nervous to drive. I remind him to call the doctor and hospital.

Contraction after contraction and then it was time. The doctor said, “one big push,” and the lights went out. The anesthesiologist had put me out for the last couple of pushes. That was how they did deliveries in my day.

Waking up a few minutes later, all alone in a small room, a nurse entered and I asked about my baby. “You have a beautiful, healthy little girl and you can see her when we move you to your room,” she said so matter of fact. What was only a few minutes seemed like a lifetime. I felt so sad, here I was a mother for the first time in my life and I haven’t yet met my daughter. It was such a let down. This was not right. A mother should never be separated from her child. I promised myself, if I ever became pregnant again, the delivery would be different.

And so it was. Two years later. I experienced the most beautiful delivery. I was awake and from a mirror over my head, I could see my precious second daughter being born.

My daughter is crying and so am I. She is lying on my stomach still attached to the umbilical cord, a little snip and I hear the nurse saying “here Mom, hold your new baby.” All I can do is hug and kiss her. She feels so good. Soon she will have a bath and I will feel her soft pink skin next to my cheek. I tell my daughter how much I love her.

The old saying that a mother’s love is forever is such a true statement. We mothers may get annoyed at something our child has done and scold them, but we never stop loving our child.

Mothers have the responsibility and obligation to raise her children from newborn to adulthood.

There are all different types of mothers. Biological mothers, adoptive mothers, step-mothers, foster mothers. Regardless what type of mother you are, your child looks up to you and counts on you to have their best interests at heart.

I have had the privilege to be a biological mother and an adoptive mother. Let me tell you except for giving birth, the biological mom and the adoptive mom is one and the same. The love you have for your adoptive child is no different than the love you have for your biological child.

It is interesting to me how little girls like to play mother. It is almost like they are practicing for their future role in life. So carefully they dress their dollies, feed them a bottle and cover their ‘baby’ snug as a bug in a dolly stroller. When they take their dolly out for a walk, they look like proud mothers. If only motherhood was so simple.

*****************************************
Stay at home mothers take on different jobs. In a news article dated June 2nd/08 on CNN.com the headline read................ Mother's love worth $117,000 per year, study says.
Stay-at-home moms perform $117,000 worth of work per year Moms with outside jobs would receive $68,405 for motherly tasks, study says. Stay-at-home moms report working 94.4 hours per week “A lot of people think we sit and home and have a lot of fun," says mom of two.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/05/09/mom.salary.ap/index.html

**************************************

While surfing the internet, I found some profound mother quotes.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with a sick toddler
In their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake and fruit juice saying “it’s okay honey, Mommy’s here.......’’

For all the mothers who have run carpools and made dozens of cookies
for school teas and sewn costumes.......

And all the mothers who haven't because they are at work trying to
earn enough to keep on top of the bills....

This for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took these babies and gave them homes and all their love.

*****************************************

My mother a”h did many things in her life time. She was a stay at home mom who felt her place was at home and ‘not to go to work’. She believed that taking care of her family, being home when her children came home from school and preparing a good meat super meal for her husband & children was her role in life.

With all this, my mother believed that you had to help your community. She volunteered delivering hot meals to the elderly, sewed costumes for my school and ballet plays and baked cookies, pies and cakes whenever she was asked.

My mother was famous for her cheese cake.

CRUST
2 tablespoons of butter [I use canola oil] 1 cup brown sugar
2 cups crushed cornflakes
1½ cups flour
3 teaspoons baking powder [1 Israeli package]
Mix together and put aside

FILLING
-1 lb of wet cheese [I use 1 container of baking cheese from Tnuva]
-2 eggs separated
-¾ cup milk
-½ cup white sugar
-2 tablespoons flour
-squirt of vanilla

-Beat egg whites stiff. Combine all the ingredients except
egg whites and beat well.
-add egg whites and beat until mixture is totally combined

Using approx. 9x13 baking pan cover the bottom with half of the crust. Pat down. Pour the filling and cover with the remainder of the crust. Bake for 1 ¼ hours 160c. When finish baking leave the cheese cake in the over with the heat turned off for 30 minutes. This will set the cake and not allow it to fall. Cool and refrigerate for several hours before serving.

Toppings
Optional......strawberry yogurt, sour cream, strawberry sauce made from frozen berries.

Feel free to comment and pass my blog around.

בס''ד

Kassams, Grad Missiles and More......

Shalom and welcome back!

A loyal reader suggested that I write a blog about living in an area where kassams and grad missiles are landing. Since it has been very noisy for the past couple of days, I decided to write this blog.

My family & I live in Netivot, a city in the Western Negev. We are located 10kms from Gaza. Our neighboring communities are located within the regional councils of Sedot Negev, Eshkol, and Shaar Ha Negev. The community of Sderot is about 10 minutes from us by car.

We have grandchildren that live in Ma’agalim and go to school in Kfar Maimon, part of the Sedot Negev communities.

Each of the children's classrooms is a fortified bomb proof room with a security door. Before they moved into these classrooms, they had an unprotected classroom.

Children in North America have fire drills, these children have kassam drills. Every child knows that when the alarm goes off, they have to quickly go under their desk and roll up like a ball. They know that they have to stay away from windows and follow the teacher’s instructions. They understand this is not child’s play. With these new classrooms the children have protection from kassams

The army comes to the school to visit, teach and reassure the children. In the playground there are bomb shelters in case the siren rings during recess. Unfortunately, Kfar Maimon is on the receiving end of many Kassams.

We, in Netivot, have had over the past couple of years several grad missiles fall. Kassams can’t reach us, as they can not be aimed and can only go a few kms. Grads on the other hand are directed and can go 20kms. They usually land in or near the cemetery of the Baba Sali which is on the perimeter of the city.

We have had grads land in the center of town, near a gas station, in the shuk [market] and two have landed not far from our apartment. One was in a farmer’s field. We could see the smoke rising from our balcony. The other was a little to close for comfort. It landed in a construction site in back of our apartment. Fortunately, there were no injuries or damage from these attacks.

Netivot, as with other communities, is hooked up to a warning air raid siren. When the siren rings, you have 40 seconds to go into your safe room or a public bomb shelter.

When the kassam or grad missile lands it makes a very loud boom and the windows and sometimes the floor vibrates. The hole in the ground is deep and black.

Life goes on. We are not afraid to leave our apartment. We take buses, go where we have to go and do whatever we need to get done.

Living in this area, you get used to the different sounds. We sometimes have helicopters hovering and circling over our neighborhood for hours, waiting for orders. You learn the sounds of booming in the distance, which are the terrorists and which is the army responding.

By far, Sderot and the moshavim and kibbutzim close by, have had the most attacks. Sderot can be targeted up to 30 to 40 times a day. It is only 2kms from Gaza. The property damage is extensive. Many residents have been seriously injured. One child lost his leg. Children and adults are suffering from mental anguish. There have been deaths to both children and adults. Parents are afraid to send their children to school as the schools are not fortified. Kassams have landed near kindergartens and day cares. One kassam landed in a shul, beside the Aron HaKodesh, five minutes after a dedication of a new Sefer Torah and everyone had left. Unemployment is very high and dispair is everywhere.

But with every tragedy there is sunshine. Mitzvot are happening all the time.Everyone cares.

In Beer Sheva there is a Challah project where you can order your Shabbos challahs from Sderot. This past Pesach, buses filled with women from Jerusalem and area came to Sderot to do their Pesach shopping. During the summer, a convoy of cars from the North came to visit the residents and shop.

The Sderot Online Mall [link on side of blog] is a private initiative of people from the center of the country, trying to give new business opportunities to the citizens of Sderot & all the other moshavim and kibbutzim that are close to and surrounds the Gaza strip. The residents of Sderot have to know that they are not alone.

As I sit at my computer typing this blog, I hear a very loud boom in the distance. When will it end.....nobody knows.

May the Hand of Hashem protect us all.

Here is picture of a kassam.

Several months ago I wrote a poem about Sderot.

Sderot's Pain

The siren is blaring

people are shouting

red alert, red alert

kassams are coming!

Mothers and fathers

Hold on to their precious children

run to the shelters

Saying Tehillim, that all will be well.

The children are screaming.

The noise is deafening.

Their parents want to know

When will this all stop.

Suddenly, there is aloud boom!

Residents, still shaking

look for the injured and the damage.

B"H, this time there were no deaths.

Where is the government?

Why aren't they doing anything?

These are the questions on everyone's tongue.

Oh, why has our government abandoned us?

Hashem, Sderot is in Your Hands.

I pray the day will come

when our army

will be sent to do its job.

And Sderot will be once again QUIET!

I hope that you found this blog to be informative. Please feel free to pass it along.

Epilogue:-

It all started around 8:05 in the morning, the third day of Chanukah, Dec. 24th, when the first siren went off. We went to our safe room, my husband closed the metal window & then boom..... 10 minutes later we were in our safe room again.

This repeated 5 or 6 more times. In between, we could hear the siren from a distance goings off in other yishuvim.

My daughters live in Ma'agalim 5 minutes from me......She also had many trips to the basement of their house. Devorah spoke to the kids and told the 3 golder kids [11,7,6] that when they go downstairs they must bring one of the younger children with them. [2,3,4]

The 3 older kids are used to the siren going off because they go to school in Kfar Maimon, that borders Gaza and have sirens 3 /4 times a day. Even still Adi who is 7 was very upset. Home is supposed to be a safe place.

We are not leaving Netivot. The attacks are annoying, but I will never allow arabs to scare and make me run from our home. That's what they want. To rid Jews from the Negev.

I hope today will be quieter......but if we don't go and clean up Gaza this will be a rewinding story.

בס''ד

Reaching a Milestone

Last week, our grandson Nadav, reached a milestone in his young life. Nadav turned three years old and had a halake in Hebrew or upsherin in Yiddish party. He reached the point in his life where our tradition says now is the time to cut a boys hair.

Why at three and not two? The third birthday is a significant stage in the life of a Jewish boy. It is the time that he begins his Torah education, Nadav is in a Torani gan and starts to wear a kipa and tzitzit.

On an emotional level, a child is born a baby and totally dependent and grows and develops into a toddler ready to be trained. At three he is ready to be more independent, separating from his Mother, visiting friends alone and going to gan. [nursery/kindergarten]. Cutting his hair at this time makes a very strong emotional impression. He knows he is growing up.

We learn that the mitzvah of cutting a boy's hair at three years old is derived from the mitzvah of orlah. The Torah says that if you plant a tree, all the fruits which grow during the first three years are orlah, off limits and can't be eaten. [Leviticus 19:23]. Just as orlah fruit is off limits for three years, we leave a child's hair alone during this time.

Nadav's third birthday was a special event for our family. For the haircut ceremony, it is customary for friends and family to take a snip of his hair. Nadav's two sabas had the honor of taking the first snips. His two saftas snipped next, followed by aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and even Nadav's older brother and sister took a turn.

With each snip, Nadav received many brachot to grow up to be a Ben Torah and to learn Torah with success.

The last cut went to Nadav's mother, who cut his long braid. When she showed him how long his hair was, Nadav's eyes just opened so wide and his smile was from ear to ear.

He proudly tried on his new tzitzit, that had a picture of a train with the aleph bet letters. Across the tzitzit it said A'nei Ben Shalosh. I am three.

Nadav enjoyed opening and playing with all his gifts. When the party was over, Nadav's father gave him a sweet boy's haircut. While he was cutting his hair, Nadav closed his eyes and fell asleep.

May we only shep nachas and simchas from Nadav!

Here are some pictures from the party.

בס''ד

Next week is my birthday!

My secular birthday date is on November 7^th and my Hebrew birthday date is 13 Cheshvan...a week later on November 11^th. I celebrate both days. My husband and son usually wish me happy birthday on my secular date and my daughters and grandchildren send their wishes on my Hebrew date.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I’m healthy and I’m happy. I have great children, twelve super grandchildren and my husband, whom I have been married to for more than forty years. Wow! I really am getting old.

I have reached a point in my life where I’m old enough to start receiving my old age pension from Israel, but not old enough to receive my old age pension from Canada. Still have to wait another three years for that.

When I think about some of my accomplishments I have to say that raising my family was at the top of the list. I look at my married daughters and see how special they turned out and how they are raising their families, I shep nachas and know I did something right.

My husband & I adopted our son when he was two and half years old. He was called a special child because he was over six months when he became available for adoption. The first time I set eyes on him, I knew he was the right child for me. We bonded immediately. The only difference between him and the girls is who gave birth to whom.

Making Aliyah was another major accomplishment. We wanted to make Aliyah for years, but there was always an excuse, you know, it was never the right time. From the moment we stepped off the airplane at Ben Gurion, we knew we were home. Our daughters picked us up at Ben Gurion and the first thing they said was, ”let’s see your Tuedat Oleh.”

Living in Israel was a privilege and we took things one day at a time. Who can ever forget the balagan when we went to Misrad Ha Panim. [interior ministry]. We were told to only use photcopies in government offices, as they loose everything. I brought a photocopy of my Ketuba instead of the original and they would't except it. They made us come back the next day. After 14 years, I have to say, our Aliyah has been a success.

Writing is a fairly new hobby. I write as a release when I am stressed out over something or someone. I started writing poems in 2001 and now I write short articles, some which have been published in Hamodia and on The Jewish Woman site of Chabad. You can read my articles at

http://www.chabad.org/search/keyword_cdo/kid/11808/jewish/Goodman-Miriam.htm

The thrill of seeing one of my stories published on line or in print, to me is a personal accomplishment.

My favorite type of writing are stories that I write for my grandchildren. You can read one of my stories on Jewish book town site. Scroll down to the center of the page.

http://www.jewishbktown.com/st/Jewish_Children%27s_Stories_The_Buried_Treasure.htm

In starting this blog to express my personal thoughts, I found another side of me. I side that I really enjoy. I have ‘met’ some very nice people who have written some very nice notes and comments.

The internet was a wonderful invention. It allows you to socialize, learn and connect. I have found some lost relatives and friends. I would never have been able to start writing as a hobby and get published without it. It gives you a new type of freedom.

When surfing for this blog, I came across several descriptions of ‘What is a Jewish birthday’.

This is what I learnt: One's Jewish birthday is, of course, the date upon which one was born according to the Jewish calendar. Far from considering it incidental, Jewish tradition regards one's Jewish birthday to be celebrated with meaning and relevance and, in some ways, even a mini-Rosh Hashanah!

The Talmud informs us that on our Jewish birthdays our mazal (good fortune) is dominant.

The Jewish birthday is the perfect day for reflection about our lives as Jews and is an auspicious time to make new resolutions, to perform good deeds and to deepen our commitment to Torah and the role it plays in our lives.

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/144345/jewish/What-is-a-Jewish-Birthday.htm

Another opinion said:- When a person is born, all of shamayim (the skies) open up in order for his soul to come down to earth. Then, every year, once again, all the skies open up for his soul. However, this time, there is no soul coming down. Instead, it is an opportunity for his soul to cry out to God.

http://www.tzipiyah.com/2008/02/my-jewish-birthday.html

On Aish.com I found a page that tells you what your Hebrew name means. I don’t know if the meanings are true, but they are fun to read.

http://www.aish.com/a/myhebrewbirthday/

Since raising my family was my greatest accomplishment, I would like to introduce them to you.

My Mishpacha

Avraham and I

Married on June 25^th

17^th of Sivan, in Chomedey, Que,

With dreams and hopes

of raising a mishpaca.

Our first born was Naomi.

Our second born was Devorah.

Ten years later,

we were blessed with

our son, Eli-Chaim.

We welcomed to the family

our sons-in-laws

Eliezer and Hagai.

Our oldest grandson is Yoni.

Our oldest granddaughter

is his sister Bat-El.

Our other precious

grandchildren are..

Michael, Itamar & Gilad,

Dvir, Adi and Talia,

Oshrei, Chen,

Nadav and Neta.

Our family is growing.

How thankful we are

to think that we started out as two.

So many blessings we have received

each one perfect in every way.

, Hashem please continue

tto guide our family

aand listen to our Tefillah.

Our faith is strong,

our lives are in Your Hand.

May each of us celebrate our birthday

ad 120 together with our family in

good health and happiness.

Feel free to comment and pass my blog around.

בס''ד


To all my readers who sent me notes privately and wrote comments on my first blog, I want you to know how much I appreciate your kindness.

This is my second posting and I want to continue on the family theme. I would like to dedicate this blog to fathers everywhere and especially my father, Louis Small [Eliezer David] a"h, who left us and this world on September 9th,1980 / 28th Elul 5740.

My dad was a wonderful man. He was a great husband, a super father and a loving grandfather. He was kind. He was good natured and he really cared about the next person. He would give you the shirt off his back, if that was what you needed. Our family was the most important part of his life.

When my brother Yitzchak and I were children, he was always there for us. No matter the situation. He would do anything for his children.

My dad would speak softly, but directly to me, never down to me. When I had a problem we would go for a walk or a drive in the country and talk all the way. He made every problem seem not so bad.

My daddy would help me with my homework. One time, when I was ten years old, I had a geography project from school. I had to make a scrapbook about each province in Canada and say what it was known for. Now I had weeks to get this project done, but I procrastinated and before I knew it the project was due. I had information only on one province.

It was late at night and I couldn't sleep. I was so worried about the trouble I was in. At ten o'clock in the evening, I finally told my parents my problem. My father was really upset with me, but he told me that he would try and help me out and that I should go to sleep.

A few minutes later he was out of the house and drove to the train station. Since I lived in Montreal, The Canadian National Railways had a very large station underneath the Queen Elizabeth Hotel, that was opened all the time. My father was able to get me great information on every province.

Five o'clock in the morning, he woke me up and said, "here is your information, now get to work." I worked like I never worked in my life. By eight thirty, when I had to go to school, my project was more than half finished. I told my teacher that I would hand in my project after lunch.

In those days, we came home for lunch. I finished my project while munching on a sandwich. I couldn't believe it. My project was completed. I thanked my father a million times for getting me the information that I needed. I promised him that I would never procrastinate again. To this very day, I never procrastinate.

Daddy, even though twenty-eight years have passed, I remember our last days together, as if it were just today. It was Moetzi Shabbos, the night of Selichot. For some reason I just felt the need to cook for Yom Tov. I went to Selichot, and when I came home I just couldn't go to bed, so I cooked all night.

Eight o'clock Sunday morning Mommy called and said that you had a heart attack during the night and that I should come to Montreal. I told her I would get the next flight out. I then understood what I was feeling all night. By Sunday afternoon, I was at your bedside. Yitzchak arrived from Detroit a couple of hours later. We spent as much time as the hospital would allow us to visit with you and talk to your doctors.

Tuesday morning you told Mommy that you wanted to speak to each of us alone. You somehow knew you were dying, but you didn't say so. You told me to go home and be with my family for Yom Tov. Yom Tov was Wednesday night. When I protested that my family was in good hands, you told me not to argue, and that I could come back after Yom Tov. What I didn't realize was that you were saying good-bye.

With a heavy heart, Yitzchak and I returned to our respective homes. From Montreal to Hamilton the flight is a little over an hour. I arrived in Hamilton in time to go and pick up the girls from school.

As we entered the hall of our apartment building, I could hear the phone ringing. It was Mommy, saying that you had just passed away. Two hours later, Yitzchak and I were on our way back to Montreal.
Daddy, in your memory, I wrote this poem.

Twenty-eight years have passed,
where has the time gone,
since you were taken from us
to a better world above.

So many grandchildren do you have
and great-grandchildren too!
Oh how we miss your presence....
in our daily lives,
to share a simchah,
or to comfort us
after a good cry.

We know you are watching over us
from your resting place
and smiling down on us
as we live in this place.

Nine years ago Mommy left us
to join you in paradise.
We miss you both so very much
that no words can every say.

The younger generation lost out
on knowing two special people.
Oh how they would have loved to bounce
and sit and play upon your knee.

And the nachas
you both could have shepped
when they entertained
observant Jews
so proudly they remain!

Now to bring you up to date
more that thirty great-grandchildren
you now have.
So many of the children
share you looks,
your character
and your talents.

Daddy, now it is time to end my poem
two more lines to say.
We love and miss you everyday
NEVER FORGOTTEN in any way.

************************************

Some 'father quotes' to enjoy.

..A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
Author Unknown

..A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.
Author Unknown

..Any man can be a father. I takes someone special to be a dad.
Author Unknown

..It's not the fishin'..It's the time together. Author Unknown

..Life doesn't come with an instruction book; that's why we have fathers.
H Jackson Brown, Jr.

..Some times the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.
Ruth E. Renkel.

..The first man a little girl falls in love with is her Dad.
Author Unknown

..The most important thing that a father can do for is children is to love their mother. Theodore M. Hesburgh

..What do I owe my father? Everything! Henry Van Dyke.

4 years: My Daddy can do anything!
7 years: My Dad knows a lot..a whole lot.
8 years: My father does not know quite everything.
12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.
14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old fashioned.
21 years: Oh, that man is out of date!
25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.
30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it.
35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad's idea first.
50 years: What would Dad have thought about it?
60 years: My Dad knew literally everything!
65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more. Anonymous

*************************************
Some fathers are great cooks. Others like to bake.
Here is an easy cookie recipe that fathers can whip up and show off their talents.


SAFTA'S SPECIAL COOKIES
1 cup sugar
7/8 cup oil
2 eggs
1 package baking powder [3 teaspoons]
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon orange or lemon juice
2 1/2 cups flour

Beat sugar, eggs, oil & juice.
Add baking powder and continue beating
Add flour and mix together until well blended.

Line cookie pans with baking paper
using 2 teaspoons, drop cookie mixture.

Topping
Sprinkle a mixture of cinnamon and sugar
[optional toppings] coconut, coloured candy sprinkles, sesame seeds or a drop of jam in the center of the cookie.

Bake at 190c for 10/12 minutes or until brown.
Let cool for 5 minutes before removing from pan.
Makes 5 dozen medium cookies.

ENJOY!

*************************************

Please check out my links.

Thank-you for reading my blog. I hope you enjoyed it. Fill free to comment.
I want to wish all my readers and their families.....

SHANA TOVA
GMAR CHATIMA TOVA